On a whim this year I did something a little different. I took a cue from author Ann Voskamp (Read this book if you want to have your world rocked through counting blessings!), and used one of her *free* pretty printables (find it here!). I filled it out, framed it and displayed it in my kitchen- you know, the place I spend 97.3% of my awake hours.
I am pretty sure it is only because the resolutions for Me2.016 look so fancy this time around and are always so in my face, that I have made it almost half way through 2016 without tossing in the proverbial towel... yet. Instead, I consistently find myself examining my list and wondering when the new Me will arrive. Obviously I have some misguided ideas and faulty beliefs about change.
So, live in the moments. This is a big one, right? No one wants this life to fly by in a big, whirling blur. However, what exactly is "living in the moments" supposed to actually look like? How does one make "living in moments" a way of being and not just a good idea?? Glad you asked, this means we are on the same page, because I DO NOT KNOW either! It is a huge struggle for me.
Apparently I am the type of person who approaches life as if it actually is one big blur we are just supposed to survive. In any given moment I am doing approximately three to five things at once, all while driving, usually almost late to the next thing I am supposed to go do. This is my normal and I completely blame my mom. (Sorry mom.)
Or, well, maybe I can say it is my fading normal? I think, fingers crossed, I have had some growth. I caught it this morning, a taste of this possibility. I was outside for my morning quiet time with Jesus and coffee when I noticed the sky. It was changing colors, from a dark blackish rose to a lighter pink with this stripey cloud formation going on. Suuuuuper technical observation, I know. In this moment, without trying, I was able to compare this mornings' sky, with the last few mornings' skies. Oprah would call it an, "Ah-ha Moment!" The new Me2.016 NOTICES THE SKY!" For like four mornings in a row I had noticed enough to recall what I had observed without needing to write it down or be hypnotized to remember.
To be fair, since this occurred during my quiet time when I should be, by definition, acutely focused on what I am doing, this whole morning sky Ah-ha thing probably isn't the best example of any sort of measurable growth. But it did get me wondering: am I doing anything differently?
And I am. I am trying.
For instance, this is my favorite one (it requires the least amount of effort), I am trying to take one task at a time and keep my mind IN THAT TASK. Regardless of what that task is. Over the past year or so I've come to call it "moment naming." Really it should be called "Stating the Obvious." I will literally say to myself, sometimes out loud, "I am doing the dishes right now." The simple acknowledgement that I am engaged in a task seems to keep me in the moment.
Or, nursing the baby, I have purposefully attempted to reclaim that time. Instead of using the rocking chair, nursery quiet to think of all the things I need to do next, I say to myself, "Right now I am feeding the baby." This naming, or stating of the obvious? It somehow has the power to bring me immediately back to the baby in my arms, and the real-life moment I am actually being gifted. It brings me right back to the life that is happening- not the uncertain life that might happen in the future or the past that has passed that I am still fretting about not doing enough in.
(I listened to this TED talk two years ago and it completely changed how I think about moments.)
BUT, and it is a big but: Life often requires us to do many things in a short amount of time. I have actually attempted to nurse a baby while making lunch and reading off spelling words for another child, while, full confession, probably checking some form of social media. We all know there are not enough hours in the day. Far too often this reality is unavoidable, Just ask the full-time working while being a full-time single mom.
Sweet Moses, there are a heap ton of things we just can't not do. Like feeding my Littles. They always seem to need to eat. Every day, a few times a day even. It is bizarre.
Multi-tasking is a myth, I recently told another mom, but trying to multitask feels essential to my children's survival on many a days.
But here is the even bigger BUT:
all that stuff we just can't not do
makes it that much more important
to find some moments to fully live in.
Me2.016 doesn't want that. I want to be the kind of person who notices sun rises, who sees eyelashes that lay gently closed on top of perfect baby skin, who tries not to pop all the bubbles within the dish suds, who is the kind of person who doesn't take moments for granted- no matter how chaotic those moments may be.
If you read my words from earlier this week you already know I am sharing this here chiefly as a reminder to myself. I am not a pro at this. Not even moderately skilled. I actually still really stink at this moment naming business. As you know, I cannot find any good way to get myself excited about the pee toilet cleaning moments- much less want to name them, and heaven help us all if I ever again have say to myself "Right now you are cleaning up maggots."
I am trying though. It has worked enough for me to want to share it. It has worked enough for me to know I shouldn't quit trying.
Living in the moment can't just be a pretty resolution for me. It IS living.
But more on that some other time.
Enough words for this moment.
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