Reflecting

Happy weekend!  This weekend Cutter has an agenda.  He is going to get a fence put in for the pups.  I am excited about that.  I have an agenda.  I want to map out the house and make a list of all the things I need for each room and pick a room to start with.  Hayden has an agenda.  He wants to go to the Sea Life Aquarium.  Hudson has an agenda (LOL, big surprise there!).  He wants to go to the beach and go swimming, as well as go to the coldest planet, which he claims is Pluto.  Hadley has an agenda and it includes two naps and an early bed time.  Grandma doesn't have an agenda... well, she does want to hit up Target, but she won't get mad at me if we don't make it this weekend, which is a huge relief.  Benny and Gus?  Well they just hope I remember to give them water.  Which I apparently didn't do yesterday and Hudson found Gus drinking out of the toilet.  UGH.  I swear I let my human kids drink though!!

We are now a family of five and that means five agendas.  This is going to take some getting used to.  Someone is bound to be frustrated by the end of each day.  I think my job is to be okay with some family members being frustrated and to be okay with sometimes being the one who doesn't get done what needs to be done.  

Yet, if I am honest, recently I have allowed myself to feel plain old  paralyzed with all I need/want to do.  Instead of breaking it all down and just doing something, I just stopped doing.  And started playing Candy Crush.  Yep, I have found my Fruit Pop replacement.  It is bad.  With all I should be doing these days, I can honestly say I have NO time for games, especially time sucking, no good, gonna make you stoopid Face Book games.  

Whew, there you have it... my confession.  I feel better already.

That is why my agenda today is to start a list.  Lists are handy and they make you feel more accomplished, right?  I also want to start reading my Bible again.  I haven't picked it up since we moved to Hawaii which was two weeks ago.  I both love and hate that I feel adrift when I don't spend time with God.  I love that He is my rock in which I feel secure when I am standing on it.  But the human side of me hates that I NEED something other than myself to feel secure.  Even though I love Jesus and want Him to be my all, I still have to admit that a part of my sinful nature tries to push through and convince me that I would be stronger and more together if I didn't need Jesus.  

Woah!  There you have it... ANOTHER confession.

Truth is though, no matter what my flesh may say, I need Jesus and the strength of the Holy Spirit to get all these To-Do lists started and to help get Hudson to his work on Pluto.  I will also need to quit Candy Crush cold turkey... after just one more game, I swear!

Hope you guys get it all done today too!