Hugo

Sometimes a trip to the park is never just a trip to the park.  

Today, at the park, the middle duck fed the ducks and then attempted to catch some minnows.  He never did catch his own, a fellow parent shared an already caught minnow with Hudson.  Hudson was in love with the minnow and was purely devastated that he was unable to take his new minnow friend home.  We "compromised."  I told if he put the minnow back without fuss, he could ask Daddy if he could get a new fish friend to keep at home.  This was an acceptable deal.  But did not save me from the next five hours of incessant questioning regarding my calculations on the probability that Daddy might actually say yes to a fish, when he got home from work.  

In fact, that boy was so worked up about the sheer possibility of getting a fish, we role played how he would act if Daddy said no.  My favorite line from the day was when I asked, "What will you do if Daddy says you can't get a fish?"  He thought about it for a little bit and replied, "I will say 'okay' because I love him and he loves me."  

Not that I actually think he would have just said "okay," had Daddy said no, but I do love the simplicity of his statement.  "No" is not a word I do well with.  If you tell me I can't do something, something inside of me bridles and every fiber of my being wants to prove you wrong.  At it's best this is a fantastic tool for perseverance.  At it's worst, this is a terrible waste of valuable life and energy.  Knowing when to fight the "no" and when to gracefully accept it is something this growing mama is still learning.  

Sometimes God says "no." And that is it.  Any further attempts at getting what I want are destined to be met with pain and heartache (This is a lesson I have learned first hand, time and time again).  Sometimes though, when I think He is saying 'No" what He is really saying is, "Yes, if you work for it."  Prayer and Biblical counsel is the best way to decipher the two.

Regardless of the answer, I need to hold fast to Hud's reasoning, "because I love Him and He loves me."  Sometimes that is the best I got.  I am going to trust the answer because I believe it came from an undeniable source of Love.  And further, I am going to trust that no matter how badly the "no" may hurt or how difficult the "working for it" may be, He is going to walk with me through it. 

This however wasn't a "no" situation.  

Daddy said yes.

Hudson got his fish.

His name is Hugo. 

Searching for minnows.  

Hugo the Beta.