Friday's are great because they are the start of the break. Mom's and dad's are still mom's and dad's on the weekend. There isn't a whole lot of "break" happening on a Saturday morning. Even if we are feeling frisky (rich) enough to get a sitter on a Friday night, we still have a baby imposed curfew contingent upon when the baby gets up the following morning. For us? Our rise and shine hour is 6 am. My kids don't give a hoot what time I went to bed. OR what day of the week it is. (And yes, I know! I know! that some day I won't be able to rouse them OUT of bed for lunch. Yes, I have heard.) But for now, since this mommy isn't much of a mommy on less than seven hours of sleep, we best be home by 10:45 pm. Curfews are still the worst, even in my 30's.
I have assumed the glory of a weekend would be a thing of the past for at least the next four years, until our First Duck would be old enough to get up with the Littles and feed them breakfast,...
That is, until we decided to try our hand at home schooling. BAM! All of a sudden Friday is starting to look real attractive again... and not because I have a sitter lined up. Since homeschooling started, I have been acutely aware of just how far away Friday is. We started on Tuesday. Of this week. Really? Really.
Now, one may be discouraged by this. But not me. That is a lie. After just four days I am exhausted and discouragement is bred in the the throes of exhaustion. I will phrase that better. I am choosing to overlook my discouragement. In honor of Friday and the promise of a weekend free from curriculum, I am going to overlook the downers and instead count the small successes of the week:
1) I got organized. We all have a "bin". Those bins are easily accessible.
2) We have a flag, a white board and a globe. Which pretty much means we have won the whole home school game.
3) I can still account for all three children and the two dogs.
I will not bore you with all of the ways I dramatically failed this week. Mostly because I don't have enough time to type them before my curfew. BUT, I will leave you with my top three predictions about how this whole home school thing is going to go down:
1) It will get better. Somewhere along the line we will fall into a routine and if I allow myself to refine the art of flexibility, this routine may just become fluid and comfortable. A cozy routine, kinda like a pair of flannel jammies, and not at all like the straight jacket it currently resembles. I am manic about and hold desperately fast to structure when I am scared. Which leads me to prediction #2...
2) The fear that is currently taking up space in my brain will lessen. By the end of the year (hopefully MUCH sooner though) I will be up close enough to the Littles' learning that I can actually see it happening, in real time. I will be able to relax and trust that within an environment that provides opportunities for learning, learning will happen. I will see myself as a provider of such opportunities and not the "School Marm" I am currently peer pressuring myself to be. In Anne of Green Gables speak, I really want to be Miss Stacy not Mr. Phillips... possibly though, I will settle into just being me.
3) I will at several points during the course of this year think I am not good enough, patient enough, smart enough or skilled enough to handle this home school nonsense. I will also have moments of perceived brilliance, where I am certain that homeschooling is what I was born to do and my children are lucky little ducks that are blessed enough to call me Mom. My work will not be to chase the emotions of those fleeting highs and lows, but rather to let good days and bad days happen. Because the reality of it is, that no matter where my kids go to school, there are going to be good days and bad days. That is parenting. That is life. I will strive to give thanks in the good and let God be enough in the bad.
2) The fear that is currently taking up space in my brain will lessen. By the end of the year (hopefully MUCH sooner though) I will be up close enough to the Littles' learning that I can actually see it happening, in real time. I will be able to relax and trust that within an environment that provides opportunities for learning, learning will happen. I will see myself as a provider of such opportunities and not the "School Marm" I am currently peer pressuring myself to be. In Anne of Green Gables speak, I really want to be Miss Stacy not Mr. Phillips... possibly though, I will settle into just being me.
3) I will at several points during the course of this year think I am not good enough, patient enough, smart enough or skilled enough to handle this home school nonsense. I will also have moments of perceived brilliance, where I am certain that homeschooling is what I was born to do and my children are lucky little ducks that are blessed enough to call me Mom. My work will not be to chase the emotions of those fleeting highs and lows, but rather to let good days and bad days happen. Because the reality of it is, that no matter where my kids go to school, there are going to be good days and bad days. That is parenting. That is life. I will strive to give thanks in the good and let God be enough in the bad.
However this all works out, the return of the TGIF is pretty rad. I'm not going to lie. In fact, I am going to let myself stay up till 11:30. That is another lie, I will totally be asleep by 10. This School Marm is beat.
Okay, just one more prediction... Friday's will frequently include more celebrating than actually schooling. That's just a gut feeling. But who knows. We are only four days in.
TGIF!
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